Bullying (23): Bully parents

Girl hiding her faceBullying parents are a very dangerous phenomenon in our society, because parents are supposed to be the people who protect their kids from bullying. Yet, as I have described in previous chapters, there are many parents who feel weak and lack the emotional intelligence to maintain a sense of control without bullying someone else. Being smaller and weaker makes kids easy targets for them.

Why are there bully parents?

Parents bully their kids because they have been bullied themselves as children or they are being bullied by someone else (often severely or continuously for a long time – see Workplace Bullying). This creates a never-ending cycle of parents who bully their kids, causing them to grow up and bully their own kids (and other people at work) and so on.

Often, people who have been bullied as children do not realize that their behavior is bullying. When you grow up in a place where bullying is the norm, you accept it as part of life and behave accordingly.

I am sure you have gone to a friend’s home many times and discovered that they ran things differently, which questioned the way things are done in your family. In the past, aggressive behavior, physical violence and abuse of power were part of daily life – kids were physically beaten at school with a cane or denied food or sleep as part of a discipline method that was totally controlled by their parents.

When kids are bullied at home and have never learned ways to resolve conflicts peacefully, they react in an aggressive way when things seem to get out of control with their own kids. Had they lived in a home where the parents set a good example of conflict resolution, they would have developed healthy ways to handle challenges and difficulties.

Read more about parents bullying their kids

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2 thoughts on “Bullying (23): Bully parents

  1. Thank you for sharing a mind-opening blog post about the issue of parents who bully their children. Unfortunately, it is sad but true that some parents are cruel enough to be bully parents which can impact on a child’s self-esteem or mould him or her into another bully who could repeat the vicious cycle as an adult of the future.

    Therefore, that makes me question if they choose to bully their own children, why become parents in the first place? Children come into this world to be loved unconditionally and nurtured properly so that they can become proper people of society, not to be abused and used as punching bags. I am not here to judge but I sometimes feel bully parents don’t deserve to be parents in the first place.

    Perhaps schools, communities and social services need to get more involved and expose bully parents as well as tackling bullying in families. Bullying in a home would considered as domestic abuse and no child should go through it.

  2. What Says You,

    I know what you mean when you say they are not deserving of the title ” parents”.
    I don’t think anyone is brining kids to the world with the intention to harm them, though, some are not sure whey they brought kids to life. Some do it because this is the right thing to do and many don’t know what it means.

    “It takes a village to raise a child” is a very good solution to bullying parents. If the kids are raised by their community: extended family, friends, neighborer, schools and community we will be able to shrink the damage.
    I personally believe that the best solution is to support the parents and help them take care of themselves. If parents are happy, kids are happy. – this is why my program is called ” Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids”

    Happy day
    Ronit

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