How to Manage Difficult People: Who is Not Difficult

Red matches with white match sticking outIf you have read about the 20 types of difficult people, you might have started to see difficult people everywhere. It must be very scary to think you are surrounded by them, but I think it is very important to define each difficulty better, because there are not that many of them out there.

Usually, we call others “difficult” when we find them hard to deal with. Although we find it hard to deal with them, this does not make them difficult people. Sometimes, the combination between people highlights their difficulty, so to make sure that the difficulty is not just a conflict between the two of you but something general, check that this behavior is a pattern that appears in this person’s communication with others as well.

If more than three people think they have a dysfunctional relationship with this person, and for the same reasons, it is usually a sign that the problem is with the difficult person and not with the combination of both of you. If others share mixed impressions of that person, we should take a closer look at our particular interactions with him or her.

For us to consider someone as difficult, we also need to make sure that the behavior is not temporary but consistent. We all have times when we show off, we all joke sometimes and even say something sarcastic, but it does not make us difficult. Usually, it needs to happen consistently over a period to be considered a problem. If someone is suddenly difficult, he or she is not a difficult person – they are just experiencing a temporary challenge they cannot handle. In that situation, maybe there is something we can do to help them.

Read more about how tell the difficult people from the rest

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